Honorable Men

The other day someone said to me there are no more honorable men. I disagreed then, and disagree now. Indeed there are men of honor, while not all of them walk about espousing their honorable intentions for God, country and family, they do exist. Some silently exist in the shadow of the world, just doing the right things as they come up.

No, not all men are men of honor, I’m not insane. Some men are quite frankly scummy, and have zero idea of what honor is. There are plenty of men who take advantage of situations to accomplish their dishonorable goals. My step-brother I never see copping a feel at my father’s wake comes to mind. Yes, he’s s scumbag, which explains why in the last 15 years I’ve made no effort to deal with him, and have seen him a grand total of four times. The fourth being the last, and there will be no others. Your step-brother’s hand on your rear while your father lies dead a few feet away is enough to make anyone go insane. Somehow I was able to not beat the living hell out of him, or cause a scene; I just stepped away rather suddenly to get another tissue. However if I were to see him again I’d likely run over his foot with my Jeep.

There are however men who are honorable, while they may not be numerous, they do exist. And I truly believe at least from the men I know they are far more abundant than many believe them to be. My husband is a man of honor, he’s not one to take advantage of those who have an exposed weakness merely because he can. Often times life has turned things his way that would allow him to strike in a less than honorable way, and take advantage of another bettering his own personal goals, at least for the time being. He has not, and time and life have rewarded him with fortune better than had he done so. At his work he could have betrayed another, which would allow him to take their position, but in doing so he would have lost the trust of those who work for him. Instead he did not, and in time he was rewarded with a promotion, and the trust of those who work for him as well.

Ever day I see men of honor. They walk into the shop and speak of their wives and how incredible these women are. They are obviously smitten with these women they share their lives with, and many have been wed for as many years as my husband and I have. They smile and relate the latest tales of their children, their dog and the woman they so obviously love, and it makes every single woman I work with smile.

There are those who would easily take advantage of another, and car repair is another thing that comes to mind. Few women know much about fixing a car, and when theirs starts making odd noises they go to someone they hope they can trust. Often times they describe the issue at hand with the noises and weird lights that have arisen suddenly. They are given a knowing smile and in the next few moments the dollar signs appear in the eyes of the mechanic and the deed is done. They are about to be charged for everything that is wrong as well as a few things that aren’t. I took my husband’s car in to be inspected, and the fellow there told me how the gas cap was worn out but he could sell me a new one for only $20. Otherwise he’d have to put a rejection sticker on it. I smiled and said that would be fine, and he moved to take one off the shelf. I clarified, “No, put the sticker on it, I’ll go buy one at Wal-Mart for $3, and be back to take up another hour of your time as you re-inspect it.” He decided that the gas cap was good enough to let it go. Odd, since I had replaced that gas cap only 2 months prior that it would need a new one. Surprisingly I did not change the gas cap, and for the next two years at the new inspection station the same gas cap has never been an issue.

The rings in our old car had gone, and I knew it. I drove the poor Avenger into the parking lot and walked in to describe as best I could what the problem was without saying, “It’s the rings, they need to be replaced.” They took the car in and I was told I needed a new transmission, and a few hundred dollars of other engine work, but strangely nothing about said blown rings. I thanked them for their time and turned to leave. As I opened the door I turned to the mechanic and said, “Now I thought it was the rings…go figure.” The look on his face was priceless. I found another shop that told me it was indeed the rings, and low and behold they were the ones to repair the car. They’ve gotten every single bit of our auto repair business since and I keep their card in my Jeep should anyone ask for a reputable business.

I wonder sometimes how it is that men can choose to be dishonorable, in their personal lives, in business, in any aspect. Is it a choice? Is it ignorance? Do they know no other way? Or is it simply they don’t care? I ponder these things as I hear of friend’s boyfriends who betray their trust, or of people who are less than honorable in their business. I’m not saying women are any better, for I know many who are not, but men are the ones who are traditionally put to the fire on this topic. Sexist? Yes, absolutely, but true none the less.

There are many instances of men who are fighting with the devil on their shoulder who pokes and prods at them pointing them astray. They are not superheroes, or leaders of countries, they are husbands, fathers, brothers and uncles. They walk the path they do simply out of respect, for not only others, but of themselves. So while many say there are no honorable men, I again disagree, there are many, in every place in every walk of life. Some may even surprise you, I know some have surprised me, and I do not surprise easily.